This is my updated iPhone design.
Thanks for all of your previous responses. It has been remarkably overwhelming, in a good way. :)
So why the update?...
When I saw the LG Versa's Game Controller something clicked. I now believe a duel-sliding front face would be the most obvious and elegant solution to integrating game controls to the iPhone.
I have enjoyed other peoples attempts on how to do this, but (no offense, Jesus) I think this has nailed it. :)
Two quick notes on the design...
The keyboard has changed!
The new keyboard is not ideal, but it at least uses the entire length of the phone now. I think it's too complicated and looks ugly, but as far as physical keyboards for phones go, this isn't too shabby. And best of all, you can hide it away when you're done with it. :) (If you know of better physical keyboard designs feel free to send them to me)
The camera still zooms out!
While I would prefer no moving parts, or at least no exterior moving parts, I think it's important to put the best camera possible camera into the phone as you can. This, unfortunately still means a 3xzoom and lens shutters to cover the lens when its inactive. These features all use moving parts. If you have any ideas to improve this, be it leaps in technology or just clever work arounds, I'd love to hear them. :) (To pre-empt, I loathe with a passion the manual covers that slide across camera lenses. Tacky!)
Lastly, I must say that the reaction to the last iPhone ELITE image was nothing short of spectacular. Thanks so much to everyone who intelligently contributed in the comments section. Whether you enjoyed it or despised it, your insightful comments were much appreciated. Thanks!